He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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