Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
