first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize