just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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