So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
