I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
