turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize