Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she looked like the before picture.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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