Just fell off a train. Bad.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
