sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize