It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize