I want to make a zoo with you.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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