how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
