Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
