she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
