I want to make a zoo with you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
