Duck Duck Cougar?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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