yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
