Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
