Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
