No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
birth control should be required to get into college
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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