38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
