he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
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Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
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I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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