In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
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so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
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I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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