and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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