she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
please come you make the beer taste better
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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