I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I need water and some morals
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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