Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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