hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
