The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
