My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
