they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
