he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
