I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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