Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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