i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
