Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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