Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
