If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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