we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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