meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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