I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
