OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
