Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
