So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
