we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
