some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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