We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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