dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
