u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
