If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
