you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
