3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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