quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
