I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
