Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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