ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Watching her eat just hurts me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
