I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We have started to decorate penises.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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