the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
