just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
