I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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