I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
two words: eviction party
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We had to coat check the pizza.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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