I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
