I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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