Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
