last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
