Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I need moral support for this bender
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
