My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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