WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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